Dotty(Done?)

[kivu]

DOTTY

Image not by me its by VEKKE.I could not find a picture of dotty but I'll keep searching for an avatar.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
the basics
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

name - Dotty

gender - Female

age - 6 years

species - Lion

homeland - Pride lands

rank - Adult

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
and the rest
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

quick description -
A former out lander. Brownish grey color lion with
some spots at the bottom of her left eye and reddish
colored eyes.

full description -
Dotty a brownish grey pride lander who was a former out lander at the time when Zira was alive.Around her eyes are a dark brownish color like her inner ear and her tail.Her eyes are a reddish color quite like blood but a little darker.She has a darkish brown grey colored spots under her left eye.Her nose is a dark reddish purple color.Dotty has a pride lander nose texture instead of an out lander nose like Zira.She has about five dots under her eye.Her claws are sharp as knifes and she does has kind of a lazy eye where the spots are(This was in the second movie).Her lazy eye and spots belong on the left eye which the spots are underneath and the lazy eye in the eye.Dotty is quite a strong lioness but she doesn't look like she is strong or weak.Her paws are medium but that's because of her size.Dotty's an average size lioness.

personality -
Dotty has a very kind soul but she was forced to be aggressive by Zira.She has always resented to be aggressive but had to, to stay alive in Zira's pride.Dotty loves cubs but when she was in Zira's Pride Zira made her not to like them.It's hard to stay calm but Dotty tries to control it when around the pride landers.She tries to control her aggression around everyone else because she doesn't want them to resent her.Dotty keeps calm and tries to be nice but it's hard to control it because of her past in Zira's pride.Her past now leaves her troubled and confused in her new life living in the pride lands.Dotty tries to leave her past behind but because of the conditions she lived with in the out lands it makes it harder to think of the good things.

history -
Dotty's cub live was the best thing she ever had.Because she lived with her family and alwayed played with her sister Spotty.Dotty and Spotty were like the best of friends.She was born during Scar's reign and lived in the pride lands but not near pride rock.She saw the horror at pride rock and didn't look at the rest.When Dotty was a teen Simba now the rightful King banished all out siders to the out lands because Zira had tried to take over.She went with them because there was nothing in live for Dotty.Dotty moved with her sister and her mother to the out lands.Dotty didn't know what but when she saw her mother the net day in the out lands she was dead.Blood was coming out and Dotty looked away and when some where a little more pleasant.Dotty and the other nice out siders were forced to be aggressive and mean to-wards others.Dotty now an adult alwayed chatted to the others because that was all they could do besides finding food where there wasn't much neither water.Dotty alwayed lied on a certain rock which she claimed as her own.She would't' sometimes sleep in the den but just sleep on that rock.Dotty didn't care about everything else she just tried to lived a happy life but now she is with Zira she wanted to change her mind and not go with her but it's too late now she is with Zira.She and the other out landers were miserable living with Zira in the out lands and were disappointed.Dotty felt like killing Zira but never had the chance because of all the others she didn't know could be Zira's followers and don't wamt Zira to die.The day finally came and Dotty and the other out landers followed Zira to war.She watched Simba and Zira about to battle each other.Then she saw Kiara and Kovu come running to them and tried stopping them.She and the prides watched Zira and Kiara fall as Kiara was on a ledge and Zira was hanging on.She saw Kiara trying to help Zira but Zira fell into the river.Dotty gasped as Zira fell and saw Kiara was helped up.She took a step back and Simba took them all including Dotty back to the pride lands where they lived a better life in Simba's pride.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
what about yourself
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

who are you -kivu(if asking for username)

roleplay example -
Medium paws hit the ground as a brownish grey lioness was running in the pride lands hunting for food.The lioness prounced in the air and landed on a zebra's back.She clawed it's back and bit it's neck repeating her every move til it hit the ground.It was hard for the lioness to cope with the zebra bucking and rearing.This lioness was no natural pride lander she was Dotty a former out lander who now lives among the pride landers.Soon the zebra hit the ground and she stood proud next to her prize.Dragging the prize away her paws were covered in dust was covering the blood.She arrived at pride rock and let down the zebra on top of pride rock.Paws hit the rocks and the lioness was running to the water hole to clean her paws.The lioness dipped her paws in the water and rubbed the blood and dust of.She took her paws out and ran back to the pride lands.

[AdminAccount]

Hey there, Kivu!

I have a couple of problems with this bio that I'd love for you to fix before I can accept it.

For her age, could you be a bit more specific? The canon's list says 6-7 years old to give the roleplayer who adopts the character the option of going either way for the character's age.

As for rank, Dotty can either be an adult or cub-mother if she's a member of Simba's Pride. Other Prides' ranks can be found here at this link. This isn't really a problem, it's just so you know in the future.

Her physical appearance is a little short, and doesn't yet meet Era's requirements. Perhaps describing her build a little more, and specifying which eye Dotty's spots are under could help.

I have a problem with her personality, though. Unfortunately, most people can't just change personalities with the flick of a switch. Perhaps she's always loved cubs, but in the past has always had to act callous towards them because of Zira? Maybe she was forced to be aggressive because of Zira, or maybe she's struggling to be calm and passive towards the Pridelanders because of all their past conflict.

Currently, her personality also lacks flaws, and character flaws are a requirement on Era.

Her history could use some work. Although it does meet requirements in length, all you've written is basically a summary of the second movie. The history that you've written is not really about Dotty. Maybe you could explain why she was exiled with Zira, or why she chose to stay with Zira, or elaborate on her family life.

As well, I also have a problem with your roleplaying example. It's written more like a flash fiction than an actual roleplaying post.

If you need any help with improving your bio, feel free to send a message to myself, Skye, Yuki or Cherry. Or, if you'd rather not, you can try looking at these two threads (link 1) and (link 2)

If you could fix up those things for me, I'd be more than happy to accept your bio.
- Dawn

[kivu]

Ok i fixed it is this better?

[AdminAccount]

Thank you for fixing that for me.

Approved.